FUCK YOU ALL......

Perhaps, you people must be wondering(if you ever wonder),where in the lost world is udyan??? Well I’ve been really busy for past few days. Atleast I think I was busy.Being busy doesn’t only mean working, meeting friends and all that kind off stuff.Perhaps I was busy dreaming,abusing and cursing this world,planning for a suicide,getting depressed, smoking my lungs out and blah blah.Ahh!!!Electricity cut again.Fuck you Punjab electricity board.These electricity cuts are seriously killing me. So fucking depressing.
Well finally the electricity is back and am again writing this blog.Well, I have nothing else to do. So this time , I am going to write what I actually feel about this world and my friends these days. I might loose a couple of friends after this entry. Or people may write ill things about me on their blogs. But I just can’t help it. I am too-too fucking out of my mind. And yeah this is probably the first time I am going to use names. I won’t be writing about a lot of people whom I actually hate. Because this blog is only for special people. For whom I actually care. And this doesnot mean that if I am not writing about you,I hate you. So beware……………till the time you want to know the truth(my feelings),don’t read this!!!!!!!
A lot of you(I just hope a lot of people read my blog) must have read Catcher in the Rye. I finished that book a couple of days back and that book had a lasting impression on me. By now, probably you’d have realized that. I sincerely dedicate this entry to this masterpiece novel. A must read for all those who feel ‘this world…………SUCKS!!!!!’. One word to say it all.
Probably some of you (who are in constant contact with me) must thinking ‘ Why Udyan hasn’t written any entry about his trip??’ Well I just didn’t want to make it public laugh riot. I know the way I describe my trips is really funny and am aware of that fact. So didn’t feel like making you happy. Rather I wanted you people to be equally depressed. Equally Mind fucked!!!!!!!!!!!
To tell you a simple truth, a little secret which I am sure I share with a lot of my friends and the answer to your question ’Why is this guy so fucking depressed??’……the answer is simple……EXPECTATIONS, BETRAYAL and THIS CUNNING WORLD.
Expectations…..ahh such a simple English language word. But such a royal pain in the ass. Parents expect you to get a 9+ cgpa , not to drink and smoke, be an obedient choot son and blah blah. I don’t want to get my parents in the picture though. I really love them. I really respect them. But their expectations are like a 300 kg dumble, impossible to lift. How can you fucking prove yourself on all grounds ?You got to lose somewhere. Loosing somewhere is ok. But me…lost everywhere. Then there are these stupid peer pressures. A girl friend to lick your balls, a bunch of ugly choot friends to follow you, a great grade card and what not. Am I not a human without a girl friend? Can’t I be a good friend without a bunch of followers? Am I too dumb without a good grade card?? Sometimes , I feel what is so great about graduating from a good institute??? Well nothing. Atleast for me. As far as my current situation is concerned, Nothing seems to be the perfect answer.What else it could be??? A roomie who doesn’t want to stay with me. A bunch of sidie’s who feel I am some sort of an ALIEN.A teacher, who questions my intelligence. A group of friends whose sole motive is to study.A tennis captain, who kicked me out because I didn’t give enough ragging. Huh!!! So fucking depressing…Some times I feel I should leave this materialistic world and go to Himalayas. Or become THE CATCHER IN THE RYE. This feeling though comes and eats my mind everyday these days.
Well am not interested in elaborating on the betrayal and the the cunning world point. So relate those points to yourself and think of something. You people also didn’t have a perfect life.
Just as I said in the beginning , this time I am going to write something that might hurt someones feelings. I know I am no GOD to justify my feelings. But since these are my feelings, I have full right to type them and post them. I am sorry my friends. Probably the best I can do is write little less!!! Some recent feelings that really made me mad. Like super mad. Felt like hitting the guy on his face at that very moment. Luckily Swatej you are safe….you didn’t do anything stupid to really piss me off. Dearest Abhinav and Vidit…..FUCK YOU FOR THE FOLLOWING SHIT……Please don’t read this…. I just can’t control it but write it. I am sorry. You may not talk to me for a couple of days. Or even forever…..but I am sorry.
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Huh I just write that sort of stuff. It’s not that bad though. But I just can’t allow others to have a feast on my feelings. FUCK U JUNTA. And if you really want to know what I wanted to write here……Ask me in person…….
That’s all I am going to write this time. I could probably tell you a lot, but am not interested. Rather am bored writing this entry. This writing stuff doesn’t interest me anymore. I don’t know why I told so many people about my misery. Maybe I wanted to write another catcher in the rye in context with my life. Perhaps I don’t know what to say. All I know , is that I love all the people I mentioned in this entry. Even those whom I hate. The tragedy is ….’ If you start telling anybody anything, you start missing everybody’..
Udyan Mehra
(no Maryjane this time….this time only real udyan)