NAUGHTY GOD

Here I am ...lying on the bed,listening to Eye of the Tiger and trying to understand this multi-dimensional life.Life is too tough to be explained this easily.Well I won't like to enter into the details of what I feel about life.Maybe I'll write another entry about my feeling some time later when i feel suicidal.Today I am happy...Too Gay to write such depressive stuff.On a funnier note,song just changed to Led Zeppelin's 'Baby I'm gonno leave you'.The funny thing.......No BABY for me...so who am I gonno Leave????With 'No baby for me', I don't intend to provoke the thought in your mind that I am impotent.It's just that I want to have a baby(both types).....enough of bad jokes.Lets get to the point.Well this entry is about my first and only French class,the Great Road trip and a little bit of Led Zeppelin.

NAUGHTY AMRITSAR

Well if are not familiar with the superhit american version of Naughty Amritsar,please open another tab and search for Naughty America.I expect the reader to be above 18.Due to lack of sponsors,camera crew and a director....the first edition to 'Naughty Amritsar presents My First Sex Teacher' with pornstar 'Miss Anu' and the super intellegent student Udyan Mehra couldn't be shooted. The story to this sex scene is very simple like any other pornographic movie.The
student(Udyan) enters teachers cabin.The teacher questions him about his bad performance in the subject.The student accuses his family and friends of not letting him concentrate in studies.The teacher showing some sympathy calls the student for a hug .While hugging(plz dont apply bitsian lingo here),teacher feels something getting harder.............and rest you can guess....Well enough of the horny crap.....let me tell you about my first French Class.We
Bitsians have a bad habbit of not attending lectures beacause of no compulsory attendace at BITS(yeah baby yeah...BITS RULES).As a result of this habbit,we can't tolerate any body teaching us anything.Thats what happened with me.The teacher(Miss Anu) was trying her best to teach me and my friend(the better half is back),but i wasn't interested in listening to her.And luckily for me,Miss Anu was hot.One of the finest teachers I have ever seen in my life.So my mind was busy in finding the technique to get into bed with me(not necessary a bed,even a table or the floor would have done the job).First of all , this course was costing me some 4000 bucks and secondly,a sexy teacher......NO SCOPE for learning.So,i knew it would be my first and only class.It's not that my parents can't afford 4000 bucks,it's just that i feel it's stupid to waste money on something you can't learn in 1.5 months.Also, I know better ways to burn away my
parents hard earned money(try to get the irony in this statement).So my dear friends , if you want MFST to come out, please send me some money so that I can continue the class.


DEVIL's MEET with GOD....

Before starting with this part of the blog.I'd like to share my views about religion.To be precise and clear, I am an atheist.I don't believe in the concept of God.I am more of a humanbeing oriented person.The word God is rather the biggest Evil in this world.The root cause for so many discriminations,riots and fights.Leaving this aside,let me tell you about this super funny/weird road trip.My parents forced me to come with them for this yatra to Chintpurni(it's a
Hindu dham in North India).I requested Mr. Better Half to join me for this adventurous and enlightning trip. He didn't accept my invitation.Though he joined me for the trip,all thanks to blackmailing techniques of my mom.Had he not been there,I wouldn't writing this .Rather i would have been on the news...Suicidee in Chintpurni. Well the day started in the worst possible manner.My dad was stuck in a village some 40 kms from Amritsar cuz the car refused
to start.Because of this,we people got little late.Consequense of this,Me and Better half had to get comfortable in the last seats of the bus.Adding to the Misery,as soon as I sat on the available seats,I saw GF written in front of me in capital letters.It couldn't have been worse.I was already out of mood,then this.WHY GOD WHY????Perhaps this so called GOD wasn't interested in meeting me.Well the bus had 5 must mention personalities

1)The Little Wonder:- This sweet cute little girl was one helluva demon.Perhaps the only girl in the world who thinks I am a good boy and Better Half is bad boy.All thanks to her,my ears could listen to some shame shame poppy shame for better half.If she is so good,then y is she a demon??? She ordered me to laugh for 5 minutes like a madman otherwise she'll kick me out of the bus.Her voice was deadly .

2)Sexy Girl:- Following the ladies first tradition, I must introduce the only good looking girl on the bus.Her only problem,she looked like a slut.Full make up and all.It was as if she had plan to have sex with GOD.But must say,she was good looking.And yeah , she was the daughter of most important personality on the bus........Mr Plant.And yeah,she was trying to give some signals to me.Even she wasn't giving them intentionally ,i'm still gonno write about it.ITS MY BLOG....

3)Desi Rocker:-This guy belonged to our engineering family only.He was really upset with his life.Couldn't do good in any of the entrance exams.But 1 thing that made him a standout, a great guitarist.Mr Plant ruined his day also, made him play Hanuman Chalisa on guitar,which he played really well till Mr . Plant interveened.

4)Mr Oppurtunist:- This dark faced uncle was always looking for oppurtunities to smoke cigrattes.I could see my future in him...

5)Robert Plant:-Robert Plant happens to be my favourite character of the story.If you guys dont have any idea about the real Robert Plant,please search about him on wiki.He was the lead vocalist of the greatest rock band in the history of the world ....LED ZEPPELIN. There was this uncle , who just looked like a carbon copy of Robert Plant.Only difference,he didn't have a such a great voice.Rather he sounded like a million year old record player.And from his actions on the bus,it looked like singing was his biggest passion.He didn't leave a single oppurtunity to sing.....Mr oppurtunist 2.There is another major difference between him and real robert plant.........he was short,plump and wasn't playing with his nipples.

The journey was tiring.It took us some 7 hrs to cover a 5 hr distance.First we had gone to JWALA JI.Another shrine near chintpurni.We had to do the darshan in some 10 secs(in the main shrine).This is what i really hate about Hindu temples.The pandits dont let u stand near the god murti for more than 10 secs.This temple had some jyot that had no supply . I mean to say ..... it had no gas supply and still it was burning.I like any other engineer,thought these pandits are trying to bluff us and started thinking of ways to do the trick.But later on accepted the fact that it was surreal.From there,we went to chintpurni .,did the darsham quickly started for the return trip.The return trip was a dreadful dream.The bus driver turned on the tv and played Aloo Chaat movie.Probably one the worst movies I have ever seen in my life.WTF....no story,ultra non sense acting and nothing special.Well I forgot to tell you the actual reason why i agreed on joining my parents for the road trip.See,Chintpurni lies in hilly region and hilly region is
really really GREEN........

Till then, Keep the world a greener place

Signing OFF
MARYJANE aka UDYAN